...when you brake for libraries.
...if you get locked in a library overnight and you never even notice.
...when you hyperventilate at the sight of an old cemetery.
...if you'd rather browse in a cemetery than a shopping mall.
...when you think every home should have a microfilm reader.
...if you'd rather read census schedules than a good book.
...when you know every town clerk in your state by name.
...if town clerks lock the doors when they see you coming.
...when you're more interested in what happened in 1697 than 1997.
...if you store your clothes under the bed and your closet is carefully
stacked with notebooks and journals.
...if you can pinpoint Harrietsham, Hawkhurst, and Kent on a map of England,
but can't locate Topeka, Kansas.
...when all your correspondence begins, "Dear Cousin,"
...if you've traced every one of your ancestral lines back to Adam and Eve,
have it all fully documented, and still don't want to quit.
GENEALOGIST'S DISEASE DIAGNOSED
(submitted by Darla Patriacca)
Genealogist's Disease
Warning: Genealogy pox (Very contagious to adults)
Symptoms: Continual complaint as to need for names, dates, and places.
Patient has a blank expression, sometimes deaf to spouse and children.
Has no taste for work of any kind, except feverishly looking though
records at libraries and courthouses. Has compulsion to write
letters. Swears at mailman when he doesn't leave mail. Frequents
strange places such as cemeteries, ruins, and remote desolate country
areas. Has strange, faraway look in eyes.
Treatment: Medication is useless. Disease is not fatal, but gets
progressively worse. Patient should attend genealogy workshops,
subscribe to genealogical magazines and be give a quiet corner in the
house where he or she can be alone.
Remarks: The unusual nature of this disease is the sicker the patient
gets, the more he or she enjoys it!
THE FOLLOWING WAS RECEIVED IN
CORRESPONDENCE TO THE LDS FAMILY HISTORY CENTER IN SALT LAKE CITY, UTAH...
To the FHC, enclosed, please find my grandmother.
I have worked on her for 50 years without success. Now see what you can do.
I've looked for grandpa for over 20 years. Do you have him in your library?
I am sorry we do not have complete families. The trouble here is extracting
the children from the minister.
Our grandfather was found dead, crossing the plains in the library.
For Sale: We have an antique desk just right for genealogy work and a lady,
with thick legs, and large drawers.
AND NOW FOR SOME POETRY (submitted by
Darla Patriacca)
Kinsman (original poem by Wayne Hand,
1999)
Alas, my
elusive kinsman
You've led me quite a chase
I thought I'd found your courthouse
But the Yankees burned the place.
You always kept your bags packed
Although you had no fame, and
Just for the fun of it
Twice you changed your name.
You never owed any man, or
At least I found no bills
In spite of eleven offspring
You never left a will.
They say our name's from Europe
Came state side on a ship
Either lost the passenger list
Or granddad gave them the slip.
I'm the only one looking
Another searcher I can't find
I pray (maybe that's his fathers name)
As I go out of my mind. They said you
had a headstone
In a shady plot
I've been there twenty times, and
Cant' even find the lot. |
You never wrote a letter
Your Bible we can't find
Its probably in some attic
Out of sight and out of mind.
You first married a ........Smith
And just to set the tone
The other four were Sarahs
And everyone a Jones.
You cost me two fortunes
One of which I did not have
My wife, my house and Fido
God, how I miss that yellow lab.
But somewhere you slipped up,
Ole Boy, somewhere you left a track
And if I don't find you this year
Well.......Next year, I'll be back! |
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